Over all it was a great party. It kicked the ass of my Bachelor party. I didn't have any trouble finding the place. It was the house with the big guy collecting money on the front porch. After $20 to get in the door and $20 the second Chris saw me for poker, and broke about 7:45pm (Five minutes after arriving).
There was definitely enough pizza, pop and beer. Since I had a 1:30 drive home, I had to start off hard so I put a few shots of Jack in my Coke and polished it off pretty quick. After a game of Air Hokey with Bill, I headed downstairs to check out the poker set up.
The poker tournament started about an hour late (we were waiting for one person, I guess he was important). The chairs in the poker area ranged from comfortable leather office chairs to folding chairs, so I grabbed the end table with a pillow on it (it looked pretty comfortable). A few of us sat around bullshitting, and watching Chris take a half hour to blow up his new 3ft Perfect Woman.
There were 18 people in the tournament. I pulled the black Ace, so I was first dealer at the 8 man table (on my comfortable end table w/pillow). I started off just playing the good cards, and learning the players. We started out with 3000, and was down to my last grand before I started winning a few small pots. (All In) Chris was at my table, and he was the first one out.
About half an hour into the game the "fluffer" showed up, and immediately wanted money from everyone before she would serve us drinks topless. She wasn't very good (at serving drinks at least). After the second time she brought the pitcher around she sat down on the couch for about 20 minutes, then she went back upstairs and we never saw her again (she never even said goodbye!).
The blinds we at 500 & 100, Our table was down to 3, and the other table was at 6 when we merged to one. I came to the table with twice as many chips as the other tables' leader, so I don't think they were happy to see me. To tell the truth, I didn't really have a good hand all night. Most of the pots, I won, I was taking with small pairs, and I wasn't playing a lot of hands. Up until now all I played was ESPN poker online, and this was defiantly easier. Most of the people didn't have a poker face at all, and catching the tells wasn't that hard.
I think there were 7 of us left when Chris Came down and said the Strippers were there. Two guys were really low on chips, so we played another few hands, and I ended up taking them out with a pair of 8's. We went up stairs and Chris was getting a lap dance. About 5 minutes later they started asking for More money to keep going. Then they removed $20's from the faces of 6 designees of Chris, that was interesting. Then they asked for MORE money again, if we wanted to see them pleasure eachother (that lasted a couple of minutes). Then they Demanded $20 from everyone if we wanted to see their toys. At that point the 5 remaining poker players decided to go continue the game. Standing elbow to elbow with 30 guys staring at 2 naked women demanding money every few minutes was getting old, the odds weren't in my favor up there. So back to the game. I switched from beer to mountain dew.
The strippers came down and tried to guilt us out of another $20 and convince us there show was something we couldn't miss. I was seriously out of money, so I couldn't give them any IF I wanted too, plus, the entry fee went towards beer, pizza and strippers, and I hadn't eatem or drank my money's worth. Anyway, eventually they left, pissed off. Come on, you're strippers, if you want to make money, do your job first, and you have a better chance of making more $$ on the encore.
After the strippers left, there was the drawings for door prizes and the 50/50. I won the set of poker chips.
I made it to the money around midnight. Another small pair took out the number 3 guy, and I had double the chips when we started head to head. We passed blinds and bluffs for at least 20 minutes or so, with the occational check all the way through. Around 12:30 I was really thinking about the drive home, and the desire to take first fading fast. I started pushing All in, and finally got him to call. He took half my chips with his pocket 7's against my A 10. I kept getting crap and folding for a while, finally I a J 10 and called all in again. Unfortunately he had K Q (or something like that better than me, I was really tired at this point) and hit the pair.
So the night cost me $45, and I won $90 for second place, and a nice set of poker chips, ate lots of pizza, drank beer, and learned how much of a dirty old man Bill really is. All and all it was great.
Have fun with the blow up doll and pocket pussy Chris.
